5 thoughts on “Rapacity by A. Joleigh (poem)

  1. Tremendous poem I liked it a lot, well written except in the line:
    Doubtless then, she had been forlorn.
    I was stopped by the tense, I feel two past tense words (had and been) with present tense word (forlorn) was confusing. forlorn-unhappy, lonely is present tense.
    I am just trying to help and to understand how you interpret the way you used these three words. One of the words had or been could be removed altogether, I feel there is no need for a double tense or whatever it may be called. I enjoy your work and like it when I see growth and this poem you have showed some artistic growth. God bless and take care to beware, Bo

    • Hi Bo. πŸ™‚ Thank you for the critique. I hadn’t thought about that before. I will definitely take that into consideration. πŸ™‚ I’m always up for learning. Thank you for taking the time to say what you had to say. πŸ™‚

      Cheers

      • Oh I’m so happy I didn’t make you upset or mad. I have a bad habit of doing that and most of the time I don’t mean to. When I mean to the person knows it, their is no doubt. I am struggling with that issue with a person as we speak. My usage of words slips also. Heck we are only human, at least most of use are. lol

        • Lol. I’m beginning to doubt what the value of being “human” is these days. Perhaps we should strive to be something far better. With all these shootings and bomb threats in the USA schools, its frightening. They were only being “human.” πŸ˜› Ignore me. I’ve seen so much news about this that I’m sorta on my soapbox at the moment. lol. See? I’ve a bad habit of speaking my mind and not using delicate words to replace the painfully honest ones. But in no way did I think you were being mean or rude in your comment. πŸ™‚ I enjoy a good critique. Authors have to have thick skins or else they will never make it in this career. However having a “thick skin” wasn’t required in receiving and applying your comment. You were very nice. πŸ™‚ Critiques also help us grow. So thank you.
          πŸ™‚

          • Thank you very much I am honored by your comment and agree with what you said. I accept critique whether good or bad because like you said how else can we as poets grow. We need critiques because the reader is like a customer in a store, they may not always be right but there opinion helps the business grow. Please if you haven’t already vote for my two entries in the Tallenge contest. I am disabled and I could use the $100 I received the invitation late and I am behind by about 140 votes. The links are on my G+ profile page and I wouldn’t mind if you shared, te he Take care and beware πŸ™‚

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