Nathan Kane–Untitled


”Sleet pinging against dark glass behind him, wind whipped leaves stampeding past his feet on the unlit path, an eerie howl screaming through the treetops; he knew he had trespassed against all reason and common sense, yet he walked further, bent against the storm, forward to meet his nightmare face-to-face.”

Everything in his ever cowering soul desperately pleaded for him to turn and run away.  To flee away from it as he always had before.  But there was no turning back now.  Escape was impossible now as he could already feel the piercing of eyes burnt their hatred into him from behind and everywhere around him.  The pseudo safety that he had always fled to before was nothing but a vague memory now.  It no longer existed as his choice to flee was also nothing but a distant and forgotten illusion.

Every step he took forward was perilously paced with the desperate mind bending thumps that emitted of his faint craven heart.  He felt it pumping all the way up through his body and into his throat.  That heated dry taste of fear that stung his tongue and pulsed throughout his body.  He also felt the cold sweat of ghastly fear emit from him.  His exposed ears rang, both from the cold wind that painfully stabbed inside them and from the pressure of dread that taunted him.

His legs had become weakened with the ominous sense of ghoulish peril that tingled through his body as he painfully strained his eyes to look ahead into the frozen darkness that lay ahead.  The bite from the night’s frigid cold wind stung into his eyes and made them feel like ice as they teared both from the cold and from the ever increasing angst that poured out from his very being.  He desperately tried to blink the blurred freezing tears away against the frigid raw cold that came into his eyes and caused his head to pound.

He continued to blindly tread forward towards the Cimmerian shade that was ahead of him until he knew he had no further to go.  He was explicitly aware that he was hopelessly alone as the darkness steadily grew and approached around him.  The eclipse crawled up to him from every direction and surrounded him.  Not even Death would have foolishly ventured into here.  He was without ally as the allegorical dance of shadows steadily began to circle around his feet.  Mocking his impeding doom as the air around him thickened and grew silent.

He no longer heard or felt the wintry bite from the frigorific wind that had previously tormented him as he became overwhelmingly blanketed by the despondence of gloom.  Every deep painful sense of remorse and regret that he had ever felt overcame him at once as he heard the sad voice of his long departed child call out to him from the darkness ahead, “Daddy?”

He pathetically trembled as he stood there, not wanting to look up as his woeful heart painfully sank.

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3 thoughts on “Nathan Kane–Untitled

    • Excellent! The contest was to start from the prompt (the first paragraph) and write a teaser to draw the reader in, stopping at 500 words (it’s exactly 500 words).
      My goal was to make you want more and I am happy I did precisely that! I am glad I drew you in wanting more. It means I am getting better at this.

      (BTW, that’s my abandoned pen name (Nathan Kane). – I went back to using J.K. James)

  1. huh…. ummmm – I wanted to keep reading it to find out what the fear was all about… seemed to be a lot of adjectives , some grammar issues , and some should haves… left me hanging…

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